Yesterday I was asked how 2 years post divorce I have my shit together. I really wanted to turn around and see who they were talking to.
Shit together? Me? No you must have me confused with someone else!! My shit isn’t together. I just had a panic attack crying trying to figure out how I was going to give my kids an Easter. My shit is NOT together.
This question got me thinking though. For one what does it really mean to have your shit together? Two do any of us really have our shit together? Three why do we feel a need to put up this face that we are holding it together?
I don’t know the answers to those questions. I do know that I don’t have my shit together though. I work way too hard, long hours and am often over stretched letting things fall to the wayside I shouldn’t.
I do know I have laid in bed at night crying because I don’t know how I am going to pull everything off that I NEED to do this month.
When I am asked how do I do it I don’t have an answer because I don’t know how I do it and if I really am doing it? But really what choice do I have. I mean it’s not like I can really resign from being an adult and just not go to work and pay bills and house my children. I am not doing anything spectacular I am doing exactly what I am supposed to as a parent and why that is surprising to some is beyond me.
I guess my point is that even when the outside appearance is that things are good frequently behind closed doors there are tears and stress. We just never know.